2013. április 9., kedd

The magical twenty

I don't know about you guys, but when I was younger, I always thought that at the age of 20 I'll be totally like an adult. I'll know everything, will be independent, I'll think as an adult about everything, I'll find a solution for almost everything, I'll have a successful career, etc... But now that I've reached this magic number, unfortunately I must admit, that I was wrong. : D I was always a dreamer, and it hasn't changed over the past few years (unfortunately - or not ;) ).
This song describes perfectly, what I feel right now: click here :)

Life is not always that simple. Of course,  in children's mind life seems much different: everything is idyllic, beautiful and easy. There are no invincible barriers or hateful teachers, no nasty people or economic crisis. Then, as we grow up, we realise it nice and slowly, that there's so much to be done to become an adult, and  to have a life, that we want, it's not enough to clap our hands.

As a 7-8-year-old child, I thought that by the time I reach 20, I will have a nice little house, a cozy little place where I can find peace. I'll have a family, kids, you know like in the movies, everything will be all right and happy. Of course,as part of the perfect family, a puppy is neccesary, as well is a nice car, and a dream career. In comparison, I have no boyfriend, don't own my own apartment, and I left college after the first semester, because I'm still not entirely sure what I want to do with my life. Therefore, I must add that as a kid 20 seemed to be such a huge number...:D. Well, life is not always fair ... and sometimes it sucks:. D

The first point, where my theory fails is the family. This thing bleeds from more than one wounds. So, to a typical family we need a father and mother ... However, my prince was lost somewhere on his way, so I'm still waiting for him. But even if he was here, the baby project would still need to wait, because I'm just to young to be a mom yet. Of course I love children,because then I wouldn't be an au pair, but it's a completely different topic. :)

The next failing part is about thinking as an adult. This is probably the most difficult thing for me. In most of the cases I know very well,  what should I do in a given situation, but sometimes it's easier to ignore all rational arguments, so later I can realize what an idiot I was. :D A classic example for that is, when I have lots of things to do, and so many things pile up, but I postpone things until it'll be so much, that it suddenly hits back, and I end up trying to do everything at the same time (and in order to do everything I would need 8 hands and minimum 48 hours a day, to catch up myself). I'm trying to improve myself, because I think this is a really important step towards growing up, but this kind of processing needs time. I'm just  progressing step by step. :)

Ok, so the most  important thing for me is, that I try to change, even if it's not necessarily what I want right now, because everybody comes to a point sooner or later, where acting like a child or a teenager is no longer acceptable, and it needs to be changed. You need to ease your comfort zone, and sometimes even have to step out and experience new things. Of course, I'm not perfect either, but lately I try to broaden my horizons. After all, this is what this period of our life is  about, or? Trying to find ourselves, and yes, we make some mistakes, but we learn from them aren't we?

And, to not only to speak about my childish imagination, I asked some of my friends, what they were thinking as a little kid about their life in their twenties.I've got some very sweet answers : D

  • hmm, I wated to be Xena, then a a soldier, an FBI investigator, then I think a volunteer in Africa. What will I be at 20? Not much like now. Well, not entirely like now, by this time I wanted to succesful in my private life as well, somebody, who had already put something down on the table.
  • I've thought I'll own a flying car. We live in 2013, aren't we? Well, I used to imagine, that I will have a lot of cool friends, like about 10-20 of them, and I'll have a boyfriend  (to be axact, the 3rd one:D). I live together with my best friend and with the guy, who I love to death, and there's already something between us. I study at college / university, and I love what I do, I can feel that I'm smart.
  • I can still remember, when I was 10 years old, I was sitting outside in the garden, and I was wondering how far is my 18th birthday. I was thinking about how I' would look like. I couldn't wait to grow up, because I've just imagined, that I'll be tall and will have blond hair, and then there will be people, who will take professional photos about me.I also liked painting and drawing back then, but later I realised, this is not something, which you can make a living of. I wanted to have a family and children. I weren't really interested in other stuffs, I was just wondering how I would look like, when I grow up. :) I loved to dream, but I always knew what is real, and I accepted what it is, I was always smiling.
  • The tiny me wanted to be a hairdresser. Then I had no idea. About 6 years ago, I thought, that I will be at that age a waitress in Győr, and I live in an apartement with my boyfriend.

These were the responses ... I smiled at flying cars and Xena ..: D
I wish  you a really nice day with this post! :)

You can also find me on facebook here.

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